|Posted on August 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM|
When I was barely 20 years old I was already married and had a baby. I remember going to the store one night and It was late. When I came out of the parking lot, which was dead empty at 10pm at night. I heard a voice shout my name. Of course I looked, I was in the middle of a deserted parking lot and there was not a soul around. I didn't know anyone, we just moved to this town it was about 30 miles away from my mother, and my overbearing in laws. Her dad never liked me, but the feeling was mutual. He was this preachers son that preached at me, and I hated it.
Something happened to me, I was trying to write a book, a horror story about a rock band that had to face off the devil. So I thought, how would you defeat the devil, so I picked up the bible one day, and I couldn't put it down. I was entranced, I came alive. I couldn't put it down. I became hungry to hear about Jesus Christ, who was this man. Was he a man, was he the son of God, was he a prophet, or was he in fact God. I remember talking with everyone, every religion, and of course all of them say, we're right, every denomination. Who was right? Is this a story, it had a huge effect on me. I was at work some guy named javier told me about the Holy Ghost and speaking in tongues and told me to read Acts 2:38 and I did, so I wanted this Holy ghost. I'd talk to this person and that, this person saying this thing, that person saying that, so I just stuck to praying and reading, I was all mixed up.
I followed the scriptures instructions not men's, not women's, people can lie to you. But God hadn't lied to me yet. I went to a church and said baptize me I want the holy ghost, they looked at me like a freak. I was sad I couldn't find a church, I wanted to be baptized. I wanted the Holy ghost. I was looking at my rock tapes one day, music was my escape, my wife was at work and I was taking care of the baby. we worked oppasite shifts. The baby was sleeping and I became focused on a tape of a popular Christian metal band of the time, and I heard a voice speak to me and it said, "I want you to do this," nothing more, nothing less. I hadn't ever thought of doing a Christian band. I'd written a couple Christian songs, but then I knew. I hadn't gone been going to church, I'd went to a church that a friend said they'll baptize you, so I did. And was baptized, but I hadn't received the Holy Ghost. Not yet.
I hadn't received the Holy Ghost, I was having bible studies with a man named Oscar, very nice man. very patient. I remember praying and praying and nothing ever happened. I had a friend that lied to me and I wouldn't forgive him. So one day I forgave him, and that night, I felt like a giant hand pressed on me as I lay in bed. And my face felt weird and my tongue felt fat, and tingled. I went into the bathroom and watched as my tongue kept touching the roof of my mouth from front to back. I wasn't doing it. I had called Oscar, and told him, he said meet him at the church. I said, what is going on? He said that's the Holy Ghost, we prayed, and I felt a rush of wind around me, and I began to sing in a different language I didn't know. The wind was all around me, I reached up saying I love you Jesus, I love you Jesus, and It was a high i'd never felt before, it was better than sex. Then I dropped exhausted to the floor.
I felt so excited by what happened I told everyone I knew, my brother told me I had a tumor! my bible thumping in-laws told me it was Satan. My mother was happy for me, but clearly didn't know what to think. I was sent, as a young boy, to a baptist church, but I was never told about this. I was confused, some Christians told me it was the devil, others told me it was God. I felt conflicted. I went out in a field alone and I prayed and I prayed, I asked God is this you, or is it the devil. I was on my knees and my hands began to shake and I felt something in the pit of my stomach burst through my body and out my mouth. It was so powerful that it knocked me on my back, I was speaking in tongues when this was happening, and what burst from my belly were too words, that and the voice was powerful, and not mine, it said, "I AM!" I never doudted it after that.
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